Summer Hosting Flyer

This is a flyer I created for summer hosting for our west coast group. 

If you are on the west coast, (or you know someone on the west coast that might be interested) please pass it on! 

If you would like information on hosting in general, or a referral to another group, please feel free to contact me anytime! 

Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours

This song is so powerful to me.

Particularly so after singing it one day, I began praying the prayer "Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours." Um, whoops, way to open my big mouth. Be careful what you ask for!

He answered my prayer, and it has changed my life.

Now my perspectives and dreams have changed completely.

What we learned during Winter Hosting

So I have been ruminating on a final summary of my thoughts about this winter.

And yes, this is my last post about winter hosting. (You know I gotta start talking about summer soon!)

It was an incredible experience, just like the first time around. Although this time we knew what to expect; to an extent at least.

Some of the key points that stuck out:

• It was a good experience for us to deal with a child with more obvious "issues." This can only help prepare us for our soon to come future. (Not that S doesn't have his own issues, they are just not so quickly obvious. The tantrums with 2.0 were often, and there were other behaviors that mimicked what I have been reading about (in blogs and books that deal with traumatized kids) for the past 2 years)


• It reinforced that we are on the right path, we want to adopt, and we want to adopt boys.


• It confirmed that we would like to adopt two this time around. 


• It confirmed for my hubby that he can grow to love another child, just like he does S. (This was a big one. As with many men, there is that fear that they cannot love a child that is not biologically theirs......Matt is an incredible Papa, and so full of love for these kids that I never doubted it, but it was something he needed to know for himself) 


• Hosting is awesome!  It gives these kids a hope  for their future. It changes the kid's lives but it also changes your own! 

Some pics of the other kids that were hosted with our group this winter:

First birthday party? I don't know but all of us parents got choked up while we were singing her happy birthday:

Our boys with the other boys hosted here in our state this winter:

Jeremiah 29:11-14

"For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will restore your fortunes and will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you,’ declares the LORD, ‘and I will bring you back to the place from where I sent you into exile."

Status Request

On Wednesday, we mailed a status request to California. 

This is a request for the status/permission to adopt a particular sibling set. 

We are sending it with a family that is traveling to the country we are trying to adopt from.

They are leaving on Feb 1st.

This is the 4th such document we have done, (status request), and the 3rd we have sent in to the country.

Wish us luck. :-)

I want to be a trader!

Always in my thoughts

Someone posted this on one of the Facebook groups I am a part of today, and it captured so clearly my thoughts/feelings that I had to share....

By Lisa Markowski

"If you had a telephone, I’d call you in Ukraine,
And tell you how my tears they fall,
Like the pounding rain.

If I had a way to tell, I’d share with you my thoughts,
Of how I miss you so, so much,
And oh, I love you lots.

If we had a way to hug, I’d share my best embrace,
And then pull back and look at you,
And kiss your sweet face.

If I had a magic wand, I surely try my best,
To make the future here and now,
And then we all could rest.

But all I have are prayers to send, up to the highest, High,
Of trust and faith and peace and love,
That only He provides.

Missing you, sweet boy..."

http://heartsforhosting.wordpress.com/2012/01/26/if-i-had/



This is the scripture I am meditating on today.....(someone posted it on FB today as well) :-)



Fear not, for I have redeemed you,
I have called you by name; you are Mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I shall be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they shall not overflow you:
When you walk through the fire,
you shalt not be burned;
neither shall the flame kindle upon you.
For I am the Lord your God, your Saviour.
Fear not; for I am with you.

~ Isaiah 43: 1-5

Hosting Newsletter

Very basic I know, but I worked hard on this! 

Interesting Week

Well our fun snow day progressed into a foot of snow, iced over snow after that, and 2 days without power. 

Those were a cold couple of days inside the house, but luckily they got everything back on and we are back in business. We were lucky that things weren't any worse than they were.

To me, it was hard because I had a lot of things planned that I needed to get accomplished during the week, most of which didn't get done. However, my husband did put it all in perspective when he said that he liked being snowed in with no power, as "we got to spend more quality time together."

So his statement and the whole week, really put in perspective my sometimes skewed priorities on things.

First and foremost I want to have an increased focus on my relationship with God. My time in "the word" has been almost nonexistent lately, my prayers have been scattered, and our church attendance has been spotty. I want this to change and have already made the steps in the right direction!

My other focus is putting the effort into making sure Matt feels appreciated and important. I don't want him to feel like I want to spend all my time on the computer, rather than just simply spending time with him. It really doesn't matter what we are doing, but to him, that quality time is SO important. So that is my other focus right now.

Wish me luck and keep us in your prayers!

Snow Day!

Two Texans get a little overexcited when there is a snow day!

We only wish our boys were here to enjoy it with us!

What Now

So as I previously mentioned, right before winter hosting we were informed that 2.0 was also not available for international adoption. We were very very upset, but we were still determined that we would have a good hosting.

During hosting we found out that he will likely be available in 18 months or so. We are not comfortable waiting all that time and not moving forward with an adoption now....mainly for the reason that he could always go into foster care or be adopted within his country during the wait period. There are no guarantees that he (or any child) would still be available when we traveled for the adoption.

SO this is the plan-we are planning to move forward now with an adoption. We are submitting our paperwork to USCIS by the end of this month and finalizing what little we have left to do for our dossier.

BUT we are still hoping to rehost (at minimum) S each time it is possible.

At this point we aren't yet sure what place we will have in 2.0's life in the future. (Advocating, adopting, hosting?) There are some warning signs for some possible attachment issues, but it was hard to be sure in only 3 weeks. It is possible that at the point that 2.0 is legally free (and if no big issues have come forth in our lives) then we will return for him.

These are the plans at this point. We are continuing to pray and are hopeful that God will reveal whether our plans are his plans. Please keep us in your prayers!

There is no good way to prepare for these goodbyes

Two days ago, I had to say goodbye to our two wonderful little boys. Even though I was more prepared after going through this during the summer, it still hit me (and my husband) like a ton of bricks. 2.0 had cried several times in the days leading up to leaving and told us many time that "No- he wasn't going to leave and neither was S." I thought he would be OK, but then on the morning of their leaving, at the hotel he locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out for 10 minutes and then I had to actually dress him as he would not do that either. We were late to the airport and everyone (including me) was very stressed out about that. After the chaperon got onto him for his behavior- he predictably shut down emotionally and laid on the floor of the airport and wouldn't move. They had to carry him around to get him checked in and I didn't get a proper goodbye with him at all. He was fine by the time they went through security.....but it was a huge contrast to how S handled the goodbye. 2.0 was not even barely looking in my direction the whole time and it seemed like he was mentally distancing himself already.

On the other hand-S was OK (just quiet for the 2 days prior) and got to airport fine. But when it was time to say goodbye (which was very quick since we were so late) he started crying (and of course I was crying). He was crying all the way as they walked to a special area to get them through security and I followed (at a short distance) with a few other people. He kept turning around and waving the whole time-still crying. All the other kids were going about their merry little way and he was so so upset and crying and shaking. I hugged him one last time (or 2) before they took him through security and he kept crying and then it took them about 30-35 minutes to get through security and their was a glass wall where we could still see them. The whole time he was looking at me waving and crying. All the other kids are completely ignoring the parents and he just looked at me the whole time crying and waving at me. Then he started blowing kisses (back to me) 5 minutes before they went out of sight, and I nearly lost it completely. (Which normally he would never do because that wouldn't be cool in front of his friends) He's very deep with his emotions and doesn't show them (or affection unless you bring it out of him) Oh my little boy-I love this child so much it hurts.

I think it would be have been harder in some ways-if he didn't show how much he loved us at the airport though....it shows that all the love that we pore into him is reciprocated. S wasn't as concerned with taking all his toys or belongings this time also....a huge difference from summer where he was upset at every single thing he left behind. This time I had to suggest things for him to take.

Saying goodbye to 2.0:



Driving back to the Oakland Airport from San Francisco-I realized that they boys hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to Matt on the phone....and that devastated me as well. I know it would have meant a lot to all 3 of them to have one last goodbye. :-( They love Matt so much and he loves them more than anything.

I'm glad they had each other on the plane....they grew so close over those 3+ weeks...you would have never known that they had just met!

As Matt says, it's back to our boring lives. (For now)

A Summary for the Rest of the Hosting

Here is the update for how hosting went, since it was impossible to keep updating while the kids were here....as you want to spend every second with them....Those extra minutes are so precious and you never regret the time you could have watched TV instead or even deep cleaned the house, updated the blog, etc etc.

As previously mentioned, the boys had a wonderful Christmas in Texas. We celebrated 4 different Christmases with various family members and each time they were made to feel like one of the family. Any family member that reads this....please be sure that does not go unnoticed by these special kids. (And by us-all the love we were shown is greatly appreciated)

We flew back to Washington from Texas the evening after Christmas....and the boys were SO excited to be on their way home. Seroja came out of his shell even more and was jabbering away in Russian to Sergey. Telling him (I'm sure) all that he could expect once we arrived home. The boys were so excited about their rooms! (Especially Sergey-as he kept pointing things out to me) 

Once we arrived home, we did see some more of the issues that 2.0 has. He definitely has some past trauma issues and needs some help handling his emotions. As previously stated he constantly talks all day long, and wants attention all day long as well. While with S-his emotions are there under the surface, and you have to drag them out into the open.

However, that being said, we had a great couple of weeks at home. Both boys learned how to ride a bike for the first time and loved it! (Although the first day I tried to teach them and didn't go as half well as it did the second day with papa there to help)

They were the most happy when they could spend all day at home....inside and outside....rather than being out and about. (This only became an issue when we had the chaperone staying with us-whom I am sure wanted to sight see)

But we did have plenty of fun with other activities...such as:.bowling, the zoo, an inflatable party zone (birthday party for one of the other host kids here), gymnastics free play, any day that involved them getting to play video games, ice skating, swimming at an indoor facility with the other host kids, putt putt, playing card games at homes, and just goofing around at home.

So the first half of the hosting,  my husband commented many times about how "crazy" 2.0 drove him.....BUT by the end he said he loved him just as much as S. (Which means he loves him like he is our own child)

It was a wonderful hosting. Very few downs....mostly only ups.....S kept his place in our hearts and 2.0 added another place in our hearts. We were so so blessed to have spent 3+ weeks with these little boys.