Fear and Waiting

You know when you have a day like "that"? A day where it seems like the world is against you? Well I have had a few of those days lately! It has been a stressful week, in particular financially. It started with a little ticket ($100!) for running a red light (turning right on red), progressed with another (unexpected) car expense, and culminated on July 4th with finding out about a very expensive and unexpected (and not budgeted for) adoption expense ($1200-$1400). Not to mention it had been a very stressful few weeks waiting for the hosting specifics to be confirmed and dealing with some other stressors.

Not to mention we are trying to sell my car and we need to do so in the next several weeks!

Before all this- for a few days prior (or longer) I had already been struggling with fear and lack of faith regarding money and the knowledge of the HUGE amount of money we will need in cash before we can travel for our first adoption trip in less than 2 months. It's actually a funny reversal as my husband does not seem too worried but it's me for once doing all the worrying! It seems that God's providence and perfect timing regarding our hosting and adoption payments for the past few months have really really made an impact on him and for that I am truly grateful.

I am not going to lie though-I am still struggling with those doubts and fears. I know that means I need to refocus back on God and His perfect timing for providing for our needs. It's not about me or about how much money I can raise or how creative I can be with coming up with ideas to raise money, it's all about Him and how He will choose to show His providence!

Meditating again on Isaiah 40:31-But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.


And hopefully I won't have any more "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days!"