There is no good way to prepare for these goodbyes

Two days ago, I had to say goodbye to our two wonderful little boys. Even though I was more prepared after going through this during the summer, it still hit me (and my husband) like a ton of bricks. 2.0 had cried several times in the days leading up to leaving and told us many time that "No- he wasn't going to leave and neither was S." I thought he would be OK, but then on the morning of their leaving, at the hotel he locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out for 10 minutes and then I had to actually dress him as he would not do that either. We were late to the airport and everyone (including me) was very stressed out about that. After the chaperon got onto him for his behavior- he predictably shut down emotionally and laid on the floor of the airport and wouldn't move. They had to carry him around to get him checked in and I didn't get a proper goodbye with him at all. He was fine by the time they went through security.....but it was a huge contrast to how S handled the goodbye. 2.0 was not even barely looking in my direction the whole time and it seemed like he was mentally distancing himself already.

On the other hand-S was OK (just quiet for the 2 days prior) and got to airport fine. But when it was time to say goodbye (which was very quick since we were so late) he started crying (and of course I was crying). He was crying all the way as they walked to a special area to get them through security and I followed (at a short distance) with a few other people. He kept turning around and waving the whole time-still crying. All the other kids were going about their merry little way and he was so so upset and crying and shaking. I hugged him one last time (or 2) before they took him through security and he kept crying and then it took them about 30-35 minutes to get through security and their was a glass wall where we could still see them. The whole time he was looking at me waving and crying. All the other kids are completely ignoring the parents and he just looked at me the whole time crying and waving at me. Then he started blowing kisses (back to me) 5 minutes before they went out of sight, and I nearly lost it completely. (Which normally he would never do because that wouldn't be cool in front of his friends) He's very deep with his emotions and doesn't show them (or affection unless you bring it out of him) Oh my little boy-I love this child so much it hurts.

I think it would be have been harder in some ways-if he didn't show how much he loved us at the airport though....it shows that all the love that we pore into him is reciprocated. S wasn't as concerned with taking all his toys or belongings this time also....a huge difference from summer where he was upset at every single thing he left behind. This time I had to suggest things for him to take.

Saying goodbye to 2.0:



Driving back to the Oakland Airport from San Francisco-I realized that they boys hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to Matt on the phone....and that devastated me as well. I know it would have meant a lot to all 3 of them to have one last goodbye. :-( They love Matt so much and he loves them more than anything.

I'm glad they had each other on the plane....they grew so close over those 3+ weeks...you would have never known that they had just met!

As Matt says, it's back to our boring lives. (For now)